The Mosquito Effect or Two Bruised Mangoes

The Mosquito Effect or Two Bruised Mangoes
By: Joel
© 2006

(A true story)

Joel has thick skin and narrow veins. So when he goes to the laboratory to get his blood drawn, nurses pinch him on the back of his hands instead of at the back of the elbow. The inexperienced ones always call the veterans. And the veterans always bring the heavy equipment. They use this little needle called "the butterfly", it is ultrafine and it has wings... hence the name: butterfly. Joel thanks God for it, because otherwise, nurses would be pushing and pulling the stupid needles inside his skin, inside his veins, and hurting him senseless. But this time they didn't have butterflies, they had the new, and (supposedly) improved plastic needles which are fat compared to their metallic counterparts. At least they brought a veteran nurse. "Mira a ver si tu puedes" (see if you can), said the not-as-experienced nurse. So the other one came over and without hesitation she inserted the needle into Joel's skin. It hurt, it never hurts when they use the butterflies. Blood was pouring out, and you could see the needle bending inside the skin. "Uy, eso se dobla" (Uy, that thing is bending), Joel said (he wanted to say "that shit is bending", but he's too proper). "Yeah, its plastic", said the nurse, unexcitedly and unfeelingly. After taking the blood she said that the vein was too short (whatever that means) to put the IV line in/on it. So, she had to pinch Joel's other hand. Long story short: Joel ended with two huge hematomas that bloomed on the back of his hands (and 11 days later they're still there(well, the one on the right hand)), making him look like a dirty junkie, or as if his hands were two bruised, rotten mangoes.