EMERGENCY!

Oh Dios! (Oh God, remember this for next time!)

I almost died. Today, suddenly I saw I had lost Posts from this my beloved, (your beloved) blog. I almost had a heart attack, after so much work, after sleepless nights and after hungry days to write everyday!!! I had lost posts! I almost cried. My children have been lost forever in the doomed bottoms of some bottomless pit, the ones that have the pikes poking upright at the bottom, like the fatalities of Mortal Kombat... I felt my heart being robbed from my chest by Liu Kang, or by Shang Tsung (shit! I looked for a list of characters [to write the names right], and there are SO many that I don't know anything about... I remember the first three Mortal Kombats and that is all I know... Old school, those were the best, then all of the others games kept being the same 2-D graphics and the uppercuts were not as exciting as when the first Sub-zero applied them after the reasonable freezing of the opponent... Good times) (that reminds me that I don't play games as often as I did before. I remember once playing Donkey Kong Country, for Nintendo 64 [I think] for eight hours straight. Donkey Kong was a nice game, when you had to throw the barrels to hit the Croc, so awesome.) (That also reminds me that I still have to finish playing: Zelda, The Windwaker, there are very little games that I play until the end, and those are the Zelda ones.... I usually finish, but sometimes I get tired before I get to the end... The Windwaker, tho, I need to finish; to know what happens to Link...) (Bytheway, there is a new Zelda game coming... which looks awesome, but they moved back the release date for and undisclosed date for next year... They are making it better, Yes! But, you'd think that I am hardcore gamer, NOT AT ALL, I only play fighting games [good ones] like: SoulCalibur, SuperSmash Bros... and of course, everyone loves that famous fighting game: Mario Kart... No Resident Evil (it scares me and then it bores me, and then it scares me again), no Final Fantasy (nasty RPG's, who invented those? and why people fight with stupid numbers?, that is good only for trading card games, which are also (most of them) boring) (like this post so far) (I will make it up) (You will wish that it kept itself boring!)

Back to my heart being ripped from my chest. There is a bloody mess on my desk, and I can see my heart still beating on the surface of the desk, the veins and arteries still attached into my body, through my broken ribcage. I can see bone, glistening bones poking out like white claws. I can see a red hole in my chest; it is hugeamungous, deep and dark, dark, dark red. The blood is boiling in there, like lava in a crater, it is dripping from the inside of my shoulders, maybe from the stalactites that are my collarbones (they are also broken, because of the impact into my sternum when my heart was torn out). It is like a cave in there. The blood vessels are like a spider web and then there is a pipe in the middle of it, it leads down into the boiling blood, into the guts, into the stomach. My heart is still pumping blood, how can it still be alive, how can I still be alive?! Oh my God! I'm going to die! I grab my heart, it feels squishy. I grab it gently because it seems very fragile. It is hollow inside, and I knew that, so many science classes have taught me that it is hollow, but I expected it to be stronger, like the muscles on my recently discovered forearm (*wink*).

Stupid Marron 5! my heart is drying on the desk and they are immutable to my pain, and they keep singing about broken smiles (*wink*) and about saying goodbye! Is it that I have to say goodbye right now? NO! I have much to do still! I have to go to Las Vegas, to San Fra, to Paris, to Japan, to New Zealand and visit my Kiwi friend (*wink*). Oh, my God, there is something in my eye now (*winkwinkwinkwink, tear, wink*) Fuck! Damnit! Ow! My heart fell from my hand, it slipped off like soap. And it hurt when it hit the ground, it felt like a punch on the back... not to mention that the heart pulled on my blood vessels, that felt weird, because I felt as if worms were... well worming under my skin. I took my heart from the floor, carefully, with both hands. And now, the red, palpitating surface of it has dust and "basuritas" ("garbagie thingies" from the floor, that may include, but are not limited to, hair, crumbs of whatever, dirt, dust, germs etc). So I tried to blow them off. It doesn't work as my heart is very, very sticky. So I try to take the off with a sweep of my hand, and it just makes it worst. Then I feel my heart drier and drier, and I think, oh God! My blood is clotting! So I spat on my heart. It doesn't work. It actually burns. And then I remembered that spit is an acid enzyme that starts the decomposition of food. And, I imagined my heart being corroded by my own spit. So I quickly put my heart over the boiling blood inside my chest area. I dipped it in there and I think I made it all better. Of course, now I have all of that "basurita" in there. It is sure going to feel like pebbles inside the shoes....

How do I close my chest now? My heart is safe inside my guts, probably some veins need some leakage-repair, I will call the plumber tomorrow, maybe he can fix the sink for free after he asks for my eye to pay for my arteries. ("To pay an eye" or "it costs an eye", Spanish saying that denotes that you are paying a lot!). So, since tomorrow I will be one-eyed, I can go buy that telescope I always wanted, yes, the one which you can only use one eye to look thru! Oh god. Nop, aluminum foil won't work to close my ribcage. Aha! If I pull them together I can Krazy Glue them. But wait!, Where's my sternum, that could be handy, it would be like repairing a broken figuring, you just glue-in the missing piece. It must be here somewhere. How did it go under the bed? But as I was leaning to get my sternum my heart plopped out of my chest again, along with my intestines. Oh, my mother's going to kill me when she sees all this blood on her newly-waxed floors.

Heart is one thing. But intestines. They are just nasty. They are as soft as the heart, but you can also feel lumps inside of them.... I could only think of shit. And to think that shit lives like right next to your pancreas.... Anyway, I set the heart on the bed, until I pulled the 3 miles of intestines inside. They didn't looking right. They looked like when you take folded sheets and then try to put them back in, they don't really fit, even tho you folded them back... Yes, the intestines were like that, after you take them out there is no way that they are going to fit inside again. So, I had bumps on the skin of my stomach after that, the doctor called them: hernias. No doctor, no, that's my guts sticking out, he just couldn't get it. So yes, as you can imagine I survived. I crazy glued my sternum, put my heart inside my chest and went to the hospital. They said that without medical plan they couldn't do anything, and that I looked fine anyway. So I took their word for it. Altho, when I walk I can feel things moving inside, like a maraca, I'm sure I will get used to it. Oh and yes, as for those "pebbles in the shoes", well I do feel them, but I'm sure that my white cells are making a lot of puss to get them out. I will get a huge zit very soon on my butt.

And after all that, I went back to the blog, and realized that my posts were not lost, that they were just unorganized, because the dates and times were changed when I (finally) set the correct time zone on the blog settings.