The other night I was at the Universtity at some event (which is unimportant right now). The event was over; people were leaving, others were watching some B-boys' improvised aftershow (after a while, they too stopped and left). I was waiting for my friends, which were missing in action, when this whoreish-looking girl came up to me. How whoreish? Well, you see, I'm very judgemental (I know, bad Joel, but I can't really help it), and since I am (very judgemental) I judged her by the way she looked. Ok, here's the detailed (prejudiced) description of her: tall, she wore a red tank top, that glittered and that covered her until just above her bellybutton, letting it be seen her voluptuous figure. Her jeans were tight and pressed her huge hips and ass. She had overdeveloped lips (which looked fake) painted with overbright red, which also glittered. Her hair was unmemorable (some kind of fake blond that was all messed up, I don't remember quite), and she was sweating profusely, (that place was hot, but not as hot as someone would think if you saw her). So, I wouldn't even have judged her had she not come up to me (I wouldn't even have looked at her twice, for that matter) (I sound so mean). So, I had just got my cellphone (it was vibrating with a call) out of my pocket when she smiled at me and saluted as if I was an old friend.
"Hiiiii, how are you?"
And in my head I'm like: who the fuck is this?
"Hi?", I said with almost the same amount of enthusiasm but with question in the tone.
"How are you? It has been so long...
"¿Ah, Sí?" (I had to write it Spanish).
"I know you don't recognize me, but I know you...", and here she was looking for the excuse or the story of how she knew me, she stammered, "I know you, I know you from, from... for your hair, long like that, I know you from passing by at the university.
And I'm like: "Oh, really?", I also thought to say something like: "Well, I've been living in the US for the past seven years, so that can't possibly be true", just to see what she would say, but I didn't, opportunity lost, minus one point for me.
"Yes, yes".
"Well, I don't think I recall you at all".
"But I know you, I know you. *smiled whorishly* I was wondering if you could lend me your cellphone to make an emergency call". And that's when I was certain that she just wanted something from me. People always say it is an emergency call.
"Well, if you wait 'til after I answer this call...", I said, with the idea of staying on the phone for 15 minutes, but the person who called me hung up after asking me some random question, and I cannot just keep a one person conversation, I can't, not on the phone. So... I lent the phone to the girl. She dialed, she waited, she gave her back to me, she never spoke, she looked at me waiting for her rings to be picked up by someone, the look was of feign pain (or maybe it was true preoccupation, I just wasn't going to give in to any other of her request, the next thing she was going to say is to ask me for money).
"This is bad", she said.
"What is?", I asked.
"Not to find someone to pick you up".
"Oh", I said, and in my mind: she's gonna want me to give her a ride.
"Can you help me?"
I did as if I didn't hear her, she handed me my phone.
"What?", I said.
"Can you help me to take the train?"
"What?", I said, still feigning deaf-ness.
"Can you help me with some money for the train?"
I KNEW IT.
"Well, I only have my train card", which was true, the other money I had was in my ATM.
But she reached the peak of shamelessness with her next question.
"Well, I could leave with you then, I think two people can pass the train gates with one card. Or can they?"
"Yes", I said, "But I'm not leaving on the train tonight, my friends are taking me", which was also true.
I was waiting for her to ask me to ask my friends to give her a ride, but I guess she reached as high as she could on dignity and said:
"Oh".
I pressed my lips in a sign of compassion. Her long gone smiles changed into something that I couldn't really pinpoint, I didn't know if she was really pissed for not getting something out of me, or if she was really worried that no one was going to pick her up.
"Well... thanks anyway", she said.
"Good luck", I said. And she never looked back. And I didn't get any remorse.
I be mean.
"Hiiiii, how are you?"
And in my head I'm like: who the fuck is this?
"Hi?", I said with almost the same amount of enthusiasm but with question in the tone.
"How are you? It has been so long...
"¿Ah, Sí?" (I had to write it Spanish).
"I know you don't recognize me, but I know you...", and here she was looking for the excuse or the story of how she knew me, she stammered, "I know you, I know you from, from... for your hair, long like that, I know you from passing by at the university.
And I'm like: "Oh, really?", I also thought to say something like: "Well, I've been living in the US for the past seven years, so that can't possibly be true", just to see what she would say, but I didn't, opportunity lost, minus one point for me.
"Yes, yes".
"Well, I don't think I recall you at all".
"But I know you, I know you. *smiled whorishly* I was wondering if you could lend me your cellphone to make an emergency call". And that's when I was certain that she just wanted something from me. People always say it is an emergency call.
"Well, if you wait 'til after I answer this call...", I said, with the idea of staying on the phone for 15 minutes, but the person who called me hung up after asking me some random question, and I cannot just keep a one person conversation, I can't, not on the phone. So... I lent the phone to the girl. She dialed, she waited, she gave her back to me, she never spoke, she looked at me waiting for her rings to be picked up by someone, the look was of feign pain (or maybe it was true preoccupation, I just wasn't going to give in to any other of her request, the next thing she was going to say is to ask me for money).
"This is bad", she said.
"What is?", I asked.
"Not to find someone to pick you up".
"Oh", I said, and in my mind: she's gonna want me to give her a ride.
"Can you help me?"
I did as if I didn't hear her, she handed me my phone.
"What?", I said.
"Can you help me to take the train?"
"What?", I said, still feigning deaf-ness.
"Can you help me with some money for the train?"
I KNEW IT.
"Well, I only have my train card", which was true, the other money I had was in my ATM.
But she reached the peak of shamelessness with her next question.
"Well, I could leave with you then, I think two people can pass the train gates with one card. Or can they?"
"Yes", I said, "But I'm not leaving on the train tonight, my friends are taking me", which was also true.
I was waiting for her to ask me to ask my friends to give her a ride, but I guess she reached as high as she could on dignity and said:
"Oh".
I pressed my lips in a sign of compassion. Her long gone smiles changed into something that I couldn't really pinpoint, I didn't know if she was really pissed for not getting something out of me, or if she was really worried that no one was going to pick her up.
"Well... thanks anyway", she said.
"Good luck", I said. And she never looked back. And I didn't get any remorse.
I be mean.
2 comments:
Bueno, esa estratgia de conocerte está bien charrita. Quiza lo que quería era preservar tu teléfono en el suyo, y de paso, sacarte una cocacola o unos chistrí. Pero lo que describes, de no ser cierta la historia de la chica, es a una tecatita. No a un cuerejito, Joel.
No sabía que el rojo aún tuviese ese impacto fenomenal. Sí que utilizaré mi Deep Crimson (je). Sí.
Una vez en el boricua nos pasó algo parecido a mí y a un borrachín de por allí. Pero la tipa nos bajó con que era artista gráfico y como estaba bien maquillada, yo caí y le presté el celu. La cabroncita tenía, y ya había pedido chavos disque pal teléfono público, y ya el borrachín le había comprado una cerveza. Hasta ese momento creí que el mito de la mujer aprovechá era un showcito de nene con berrinche. Ante nuestras capacidades, me quedé absorta.
Oh Dios. Ahora me pones a pensar. Pero para qué querría mi número de teléfono? Pa empezar estaba fea jaja... pero la verdad es que hay que tener cuidao. Por ahí hay gente trastorná que solo quiere coger teléfonos y meterte en bochinches... (mi imaginación corriendo). Y sí, si es una historia verídica. Aunque no lo paresca. Y sí, el rojo tiene impactos. Pero hay rojos bien rojos que se ven sutiles, el de ella era... ofensivo. A lo mejor por el simple hecho de que era ella.
y Sí, en un programa (CSI) uno de los personajes dijo esto: "People are capable of anything", así que... absorto y anodadados y brutos y sorprendidos nos quedamos tos.
gracia por tu comment
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