The power of a phone call

I hate phones. I hate them. Two reasons: 1. since I don't speak much then the phone takes away that 85 percent of body language that I used to communicate, then there's the nagging thought that one only uses a certain amount, lets say 50%, of the words of ones native language, so that takes away anothe 10 percent of my communicative abilities. So then, that leaves me with only 5% of spoken speech to survive a phone conversation. Don't get me wrong though, I'm always grateful to recieve a call; its just that... I don't know, that I get so unconfortable when I get to a dead end in the conversation, and nothing interesting comes to mind. Reason 2. then there is that horrible feeling of waiting for an important phone call and then it never seems to come, or the other way around, when an unimportant call arrives at the worst moment, when you are busy or when you just can't answer.

So yes, it is stated that I don't like phones (too much).

But it is so awesome when you get a surprise phone call at the right moment, it is like if it were magic. It depends on the person, it depends on the day, and just by saying "hello, how are you; I wish you well, I'll see you later"; it just makes your day. Or doesn't it?

It gives you such great excitement. When there was no phone postcards were the "thing", they are somewhat more personal because you can see the handwriting of the other person... I don't know if that is more personal or not, I just think it is because you get to keep the memento. Unlike a phone call. But, phone calls are just so immediate. I mean, if you think of someone you can always give them a call that very moment and be happy with yourself and maybe, just maybe make that other person happy.

I should start doing that. Whenever I think of someone I shall call them, even if it is like three thirty in the morning; I would say: "sorry to wake you but I just wanted to tell you that I was having a dream and you were in it and I just wanted to tell you about it, ok, you can go back to sleep, see you later". I wonder how'd they feel, would they be mad that I woke them just to tell them that? Or otherwise be happy that I did? I don't know. Right now people are so afraid of going with their first impulses or their first thoughts just because of what the other person will think or say. But how many good wishes and smiles are wasted with restrain? Although also we avoid sorrows and deceptions by keeping our first thoughts inside, but I'm speaking about the good-first-impulses and the good-first-thoughts that pop into your mind, keep the other ones, use them only when you want to make someone miserable. But yes, to wake someone in the middle of the night to tell them that you had a dream of them, would that be good or bad? I guess it depends on the day of the week or if you really, truly cherish your sleep-time (then turn your phone off during the night :-p ).

Why am I writing this? Well, I guess I'm in the need of a phone call, a short or a long one from whomever, at whatever time.

I had a picture on my msn messenger of a cell phone with a text messege that read: "I wish I recieved phone calls more often", it was postmodern, it was funny and sad too.

Its just that time of the year when I start to get depressed. Not that I get depressed every Christmas, because I don't... really. It's just that things accumulate in time in my head and then there is a point when there is no way for me to unthink them, and among those thoughts (uncertainties about the future are included) there's the thought that I don't get many phone calls. That I'm not worthy of someone else's ephimeral thought.

congratulations/felicidades

congratulations congratulations congratulations
Somewhere I heard that if you repeatedly say this to someone, good things will happen to them, so, congratulations
(not to be confused with merry christmas, which I will wish you soon)


felicidades felicidades felicidades
En alguna parte escuché que si le dices esto repetidamente a alguien, muchas cosas buenas les van a pasar, así que: felicidades
(pero no confundir con feliz navidad, lo cual ya mismo les desearé)

Relationships: Forgiveness and Love

For J & J
From J

Watching tonight's episode of Nip/Tuck I found that relationships are too complicated. Yes, I would like to know this from actual experience, but due to lack of it, I have to learn somewhere else; either from people I know or from the next best thing: tv. True. Not the best teacher... but...

Anyway. I've been following this series form some time now and, aside from the twisted, and far fetched, fictional things that happen, there are things that one may believe. I mean, people are capable of anything, those things that you don't even dare to think of, other people do; and this show actually shows (sorry for redundancy) some of those things, it is in you and I to judge or not (altho we don't want to judge, we always do). My point is that I believe that the thing on the show happen, and they happen everywhere (or at least in the countries with liberal cultures) and that they happen all the time.

But the weirdest and most unbelievable thing to believe (another redundancy) from the show are some of the relationships. For example, take Sean and Christian, best friends since forever, full-grown men, business partners, plastic surgeons; the storyline goes like this: Sean learn that his son is actually not his son, he is the son of Christian. What does that mean? Christian had sex with Sean's wife, which, by the way, is their best friend too, since forever. I don't remember the circumstances of how that happened exactly. So, as you may deduce, Sean separated from his wife (it was the high point of their crumbling marriage anyway) and recented Christian.

Then, I missed some episodes and don't really know how they all got back together to even talk to each other. But they did. And I can only think of the people that go to Jerry Springer, how many relationships break there (either if they are real people or not, because I still debate the legitimacy of the people that go to that show), and I think, how much love did these people put into the other? To scream I hate you in tv and to beat them up in public ridicule? And then I see the fictional characters of Nip/Tuck and somehow they seem more real. After an understandable time of what... grievanve? solitude? thought?... The characters are back together.

Like, Sean and Christian had so much history in the past that this huge thing slash event in their lives, that would totally rip their friendship apart, was still not able to "totally rip their friendship apart" (deja vu) (redundance). How? How are they still able to speak to each other? How are they still able to even look at each other in the after such a big lie. (Altho Christian didn't know that the boy was his son, still he had sex with Sean's girlfriend/wife). Was it that their history together is stronger than a lie? Was it the need of having his best friend back? Was it loneliness? Was it that their love is stronger than a lie? Maybe its a combination of all of that, but how many times does this happen? People willing to forgive in able to keep loving?

Look now at Sean and Julia's relationship (Julia is his wife/exwife). In tonight's episode they get back together. She has been dating another man; throughout the whole of episodes you can see her moving on with her life, with very few or very minor hints of trying to get back with Sean, except in one episode in which they couldn't resist each others prescence and had sex (I missed this episode too). On the other hand, since their break-up, Sean has been hinting that he would like to get back with her. And, after they find out in tonights episode that the baby Julia is going to have is his baby, and not of that other man she was dating, they grumpily/ tenderly/ quietly get back together in the winter on Christmas Eve (more romantic and kind of cliche it couldnt be, but it was all believable). So again, was their history stronger than their turmoils? Did they need each other? Were they lonely? Did they sit in nostalgic longing? Was their love stronger than their troubles, the lies? Did they need to forgive themselves and each other? Was it a combination of them all? How many times does this happen to real, non fictional, people? People willing to forgive to be able to keep loving?

I guess it has to be a mutual forgiveness for the relationship to keep working. But I also think that one has to start the process. Unlike tv, where forgiveness happened relatively at the same time for both characters, real people have to give in first, the one has to say sorry first... And that's where the it all comes down to, to that scary moment of humility and pasiveness (pasiveness is not the exact word, but I forget the right word). Being afraid of rejection and of "what will happen" is what stops many relationships from forgiving. And ergo of loving. (I always wanted to use "ergo"!)

With this post, what I want to say is that it IS posible, and that it DOES happen, to re-mend relationships. Just like the characters in Nip/Tuck, you have to be perseverant; you have to take the first step; you have to trust your history; to evaluate your current happiness level; to test if that level of happyness included that other person; to trust that other person; to check if it is in fact what you need; and in the end just to follow what your heart and mind dictates you. What can you do if you keep loving? Try again. If it doesn't work, move on. But, if the love is still there between the two, why fight it? Because of dignity? Dignity is also vanity. You can sacrifice something in order to get something better back, would you not?

So again the rethorical question looking for an answer: Who is willing to forgive in order to keep loving? Who?

I would.

Ganas de escribir

Escribo. Escribo. Pero ya es hora de dormir.

Trampolines

Why are trampolines so fascinating? I didn't know until I tried them. And, I always wanted to try them.

How awesome and scary it is to jump and just let go. It takes some time to get used to. You jump and you don't have to care about the hard floor... It is so totally unlike human. Humans are always afraid of the floor, of "falling" to the floor, specially adults. But when you have a trampoline its... just undescribable.

Oh. Where did I jumped? Hmm. At this awesome place/warehouse-turned-park where there are trampolines all over the floor... Oh god. It is so great. And it hurts the next day, so its a good AND complete workout, as I've read.

So, jump away people. Because I will never stop. (altho there is not much time left for me here in "fabulous Las Vegas"... bummer to that, oh well, i'll be back!!!) Yes!

The history of the name

Well. I intended this post to be very clever but it will not be.

The history of the name Las Vegas. Well, I wanted to know why Vegas was called like that. And I had the idea that it was because it was a small valley, because a vega in spanish is: plain land in or in between or in the middle of a mountain range smaller than a valley tho. Valley=valle. Small valley=vega.

Anyway. It turned out to be just that. The founders had no real imagination to come up with a good name, so they took a dictionary and looked valley and found vega, so there you have it.

(the story about the founders is totally mine, but I dont want anyone to feel undermined by me undermining the history of their town, if it were to me I would come up with stories for every country, like for example Puerto Rico translates into Rich Port, nasty name. Who came up with it? Well, unoriginal founders/conquistadors who found lots of riches in the island or near the port, or they considered the island a port, who knows... so, that's it for this long parethesized disclamer).

Parenthesized. Hmm. (that's for Danielle).

About Endless lights or Barquitos en la noche (boats in the night)

I wrote a poem a very loooong time ago. It is called Barquitos en la Noche, (Boats in the night). The boats in the night are the lights that you see when you see the city from a high place, like a mountain.

Well. If you didn't know... rigth now I'm in Las Vegas. It s such a weird and awesome place, both at the same time. Its a huge plain, a humungous valley, during the day you can see the mountains at every cardinal point, and they are brown and devoid of vegetation, contrary to Puerto Rico which the mountains have lots of green among other colors. At night, the valley is different: lights in the middle of the desert, you can see it from the airplane, its like a giant square of lights in the middle of a black nothingness, as if it were a bright island in the ocean.

The lights are endless. Once on the ground, or rather on the ground but on higher ground in relation to the rest of the valley: you can see the lights and the horizon is so black. And the streets are so straight, they cut the city from one end to the other, as if it were a grid... or a computer chip.

Once I come up with something more to say I'll come back.