Mini-conversación entre dos policías sobre un tecato/vagabundo en la Estación Deportivo del tren

*Joel se sienta en un bordecito a esperar porque para nada va a caminar hasta su casa a las diez de la noche aunque ya lo ha hecho antes*

Dos policías andareguean en la estación afuera. Uno de ellos (el rubio, lo llamaremos) se abre el chaleco antibalas y se echa aire, imagino que esa cuestión pesá tiene que dar un calor puñetero. Mientras el otro camina hacia allá, y hacia acá.

*Joel piensa en este momento que debe suckear ser policía, ahí acalorados, ahí apretados en en esa ropa, ahí sin hacer nada aburridos, ahí esperando por el peligro...*

Luego de eso, el otro (le llamaremos Maná) de pronto, de la nada y con alto tono de voz cantó "Labios compartiiiidos", eso fue lo único que cantó... Pero fue como que de súbito, que yo brinqué, pensando que alguien venía a atacarnos, un terrorista o algo así... anyway. Entonces el rubio comienza la conversación:

-Debemos detener a [ininteligible].
-Nooo, si él no está cometiendo ningún delito...

Y yo, de qué carajo estarán hablando. Y cuando miro para el lado, veo al tecato slash vagabundo (que el otro día comenté en otro blog por ahí (no me acuerdo ahora cuál) que es bien joven, y se pasa por allí en Bayamón...) que se acerca, entonces Maná continúa diciendo en voz muy alta:

-...No está cometiendo ningún delito. No está pidiendo ni na. Pero eso sí, te voy a decir, el tipo apesta con cojones.

El tecato slash vagabundo joven seguramente escuchó. Se quedó turulato por un momento, como pensando qué hacer próximamente. Seguido, dió media vuelta y se fue por donde vino.

Después el Rubio se puso a jugar con su macana de esas nuevas que son retráctiles... Mientras Maná volvió a cantar el pedacito "Labios compartiiidos, labios dividos".

*Joel se pregunta qué vendría a hacer el tecato slash vagabundo*

Hmm. Invading the privacy near you!

(this is a rant done for myspace, and for all of those who hate myspace's randomness of spaces, but can't help but to love it for what it does)

*Joel looks around innocently at the myspace building, and "hmms"*

I feel like I have to "bulletinize" something, just to see what happens... but I really don't want to invade other peoples "spaces". But, I guess in the end that is the whole purpose of this "building". Why do I call it building? Because I'm a dork and I have nothing else to do right now, than to write senseless sh()t. (Why do I censor myself?) (Because I have nothing else to do right now than to write senseless shit) (Why do I repeat myself?) (Because I have nothing else.... well you know.). So, back to my river of thoughts, my stream of conciousness, my flow of ideas... Well, I felt like bulletinize something really awesome and clever, but I guess I'm not up for it. Except, though, that I'd really like to thank all of those who made this myspace space possible. Thanks to Toyota, for the car that I haven't got. And, that's pretty much it, actually. Anyway, I'll stop ranting, and leave you all in peace. Because peace is what makes us who we are, it is what shapes us... Moving to a totally different subject, but yet, still in the same on, just on a different tangent, I would like to describe the myspace building, even though it is only in my imagination (that reminds me of a song "just my imagination, just my imagination, just my imagination, iiiiit wassss..." you figure out the song). Anyway, so as I was saying I imagine the myspace building with lots of glass walls everywhere, but the glasses are slanted and not in a pleasing way. The glass is stained, but, not stained to make it look awesomely postmodern, no no no, stained as in not taken care of. You know, when you keep glass outside under the sun, the moon, the stars, the sky, the rain, the asteroids... without polishing it once in a while, it starts to fade, to become whitish... calcification one might say, yes, that's exactly it... Well, the myspace building is like that, all the glass is untaken care of, and it gives the inside lobby a very ummm, very ummm, ummm, ¿creppy atmosphere? (you see the "other" question mark?, that's a gift from me, sherish it as if it were a real gift). Anyway, creepy is not the presice word. It's more like... the light fills the inside with this gloom, it feels like a greenhouse, hot, and humid. And yes, the carpets smell mildewy. It just makes you wonder WHY, WHY they let their users mantain they're building. Don't get me wrong, I love you "users" (unlike the "users" of crack-cocaine, who only want my money), its just that... I really can't say... I cannot put it into words. But, don't worry, the myspace building is just the headquarters of this enormous place/space called myspace, you don't have to worry about it, just keep your pages rolling. And invade the privacy nearest you, because that's the heart of this service isn't it? I'm not ranting. NO! I'm not being sacarcastic. Really! Believe me! I'm trying to be funny, but in the process I'm making people mad. Nope. I refuse to be a victim. I refuse to be a victim. I will grab a gun from the purse of that lady in the American Beauty movie and I will cry in the closet because someone else came in and killed Kevin Spacey before me...

ok, I went long long long and crashed at the outfield, because the baseball black (blackened) my eye... I'll shut up...

Have a greatly awesome day. Seriously.

Keep it good, people. I'll invade you more often from now on (now that I know about this little button that says "bulletin"). (Who would have thought of that?) (I would have!).

Cuídense. (some Spanish for those of you who "wants" some accents.) (www.freetranslations.com)

Ñ

bye all
Joel

Categories... erm

Eeh, aaah, eerm... I think I got too excited... maybe, just maybe, I have too many categories... or do I? Please tell me
ATTentamente
Joel

See to Believe!

And Finally Joel Posts Videos! Woohoo! (they're not HIS videos, but they still move).

So, look at this, you'll end up with your jaws hanging by this mother-f-er.

No Te Conosco

No Te Conosco
Por: Joel
©2006

Con los gabetes sueltos, caminas por la acera, alegre por el intenso azul del cielo. Tu pie derecho pisa el gabete del tenis izquierdo, pero el destino trae una turista que te detiene justo a tiempo para preguntarte: "¿a dóunde está el Morrou?". Y le señalas la dirección. "Oh, gracias", te dice. Entonces, al emprender la caminata, levantas el pie izquierdo encadenado por el gabete bajo el derecho. Te tropiezas. Pero no caes. Miras a los lados por el pasme y te ríes, porque siempre que uno se salva de alguna tragedia, uno se ríe.

Compraste en la tiendita, la razón de este corto viajecito. Caminas de regreso a tu casa. Un refresco en la mano derecha, la bolsa de la comprita en la otra. Pisas el mismo gabete. Y te estrellas de boca. Muerdes la acera. Tus dientes rechinan en el áspero cemento. Uno de los dientes se te desgarra de las encías y lo sientes como una piedra alojarse en tu garganta. Se te desmenuzan los labios y arde. La nariz se te incrusta en la cara, junto al latigazo elástico del tabique cuando se fractura. Y luego, el torrente de sangre llueve adentro de tu fosas nasales, un manantial con sabor a hierro rojo, caliente y espeso, que te impide gritar el sufrimiento. Te impide respirar.

Ya en la camilla de los paramédicos, tus ojos cansados y nublados divisan el tenis culpable de la atrocidad. El izquierdo. Estaba allí, con cara de inocente. Se había desligado de ti. Completamente. Te ignora. No te conoce. Y yace de pie en la acera, frente al charco de sangre, con los gabetes sueltos.


Agosto 23, 2006

¡Feliz Cumpleaños! Joyeux Anniversaire! Happy Birthday!

Ooolé olé olé oleee, oleeee oleeee
chijí, chijá chijá ja ja, el blog el blog pa rriba va!
que le cresca el pipí, que le cresca el pipí...

L'anniversaire de cet blog est aujourd'hui. Quelle émotion!

Woohoo!
So exciting. Year One, and counting!

And to celebrate... We added some very subtle changes to the page, and Thoughts are now categorized on the sidebar!!!!
And because Countdowns are in Fashion lately

I will countdown the Best 15 Posts of Joel's Thoughts on Stuff, and give 5 Special Prices (to myself!!!) WoohooO!

Lets Start Quickly!

At number 15 we have a simple, kind of odd remark, that doesn't even have a title *the public laughs robotically*, Please enjoy this face:
15. :\

14. The Shameless Petition of a Weird Stranger or The Sweaty, Whoreish-Looking Girl Who Supposedly Knew Me, Do I need to say more?

13. Adventures in People Watching or 30 people you will encounter on a doomed trip to San Juan, again speechless before this title.

12. One of the first post ever written on this blog:
Of Love, of Emptiness and Whatever Comes After

11. A rant about the unfairness of the world:
Puerto Rico y el mundo, un cuento ficticio

10. See what is so catastrophic with: Emergency!

9. Some mental illnesses for your enjoyment at number 9:
Electrocutions and OCD

8. A sensitive post about distance and friends:
Physical Distance and I put the luggage away

7. A postmodern conversation, you'd never hear something like this in the eighties: Conversación entre una madre preocupada y sus dos hijos preadolescentes y postmodernos en una tienta Game Stop

6. Animals living as humans in:
La perra puta y el perro tuerto y meón

5. We enter number five with the train!:
The Train Goes Slow in the Rain

4. And number 4 is the sequel to that post...:
The Trees Attack Again!

3. Number three is about love, oh yes, everybody needs it everybody wants it, here it is: Relationships: Forvigeness and Love

2. Number two was the root of this blog, it drove the idea of this blogs titles, even without knowing it... give it up for oldest post but the recently published:
Joel's Thoughts on Blogs, Story/Diaries and "Randomness"

But wait! Before we reveal the best post ever of Joel's Thoughts on Stuff, we will give the 5 special prices!!!

The price for the Most Repulsive Post ever written goes to *drumroll*:
Disgustingly Repugnat, Repulsive Stagnancy of Scatology
*and the crowd goes eeeww*.

The price for Breakthrough and most Honest Post goes to *drumroll*:
Hoy es Lunes 17
*and the crowd applauds and lift their fist in solidarity*

Now, the price for the Simplest and Truest Post goes to *drumroll*:
A thought
*and the crowd goes aaawww*

We're closing in towards the best of the best now, here is now, the price for the Cleverest Post ever, and the winner is:
The Hugeamungous Link!
Congratulations!, to the link.
*and the crowd goes wild*

And Now, the moment we all have been waiting for, the moment of truth. The last Special Price is also the winner of our Countdown! It's a two for one my esteemed audience, a two for one! And, the Price for the Most Heartwarming Post ever, and the Winner of today's Countdown is...
*all the post are shaking and biting their nails*
And the number ONE post ever, THE BEST OF THE BEST is, *drumroll* it started it all:
Is Home Where the Heart or Anywhere but Here?
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
*and the crowd cries with excitement and emotion*

Exodus at the Train

We interrupt this blog's usual programing for a special announcement.

The train suffered an exodus today.

When I got into the train station at Sagrado Corazón this afternoon (at3:30) the (electric) escalator was broken, and two workers were fixing it. So I had to take the elevator (too lazy to climb the stairs). The elevator is a state of the art machine, very futuristic with glass on its four sides, but, it was hot inside, not scorching hot, but hot still... Little did I know that the broken escalator and the hot elevator were warnings of what was coming.

I got onto the platform and it was full of people, no trains on any of the two tracks. I had never seen the station so full. Finally the train arrives in a timely manner, (that's why I love it, it is so realiable). I got in, I went into the last car, even though I don't like it. I sat in the back, because the air conditioning gets concentrated there and feels nice. And so, my fears of the last train car are not unfounded. They aren't. The last train is wobbly. Unstable. When you ride that car you feel the turns harder than in the other trains (even the first one). And you feel every imperfection of the track. I always fear that it will snap off from the rest of the train in a curve and we will fall off (with my luck) from the highest track. Or get rammed from the back by another train (but wait, then why sit at the back? I didn't really sat at the back, it depends from where you see it, I sat, technically on the front, but it is the seat that is back to back in relation to the previous train car... get it?). Anyway, I said to myself, nothing's going to happen, Joel, just read your book. But I couldn't read my book. There were lots of people in the train, making my head go even wilder with catastrophes. Consider this: more people, more weight on the car + last car's usual instability = more possibilities of derailment. But nothing like that was ever going to happen, I said to myself, and tried to read.

At each train station people would board the train, there were almost no seats available now. It gave me a sense of living in a great polis, just looking at how many people were using the train, and so I was entertained by that. I'm also amused by those who can't decide where to sit, and then the train moves and then they would whimper "wooo", and quickly take the next available seat... Surely, in their minds they thought, "ooph, I survived that!" (I still wait for someone to fall like a grapefruit ("fall like a grapefruit", puertorican saying)).

So then, nothing eventful happened for almost the rest of the way, until we get to Torrimar Station, and we hear the driver talk on the speaker. "Good afternoon, ladies and gentleman, the train has... [and here his transmition got cut off, for some unexplainable reason] ...so we will be here for about five minutes, thanks for your patience". And I see a woman wearing a yellow vest (the ones that use the employees of the train) run down the platform outside. Not good. Right? Well, about three minutes go by and the trainman/driver speaks again: "Ladies and gentleman, this train is going to be stopped here for some time" ("Este tren va a estar parao aquí por buen tiempo"), and then everyone in the train started to shuffle and get disappointed, oddly no one complained... (I was surprised about that). And the driver continued: "So..." and he paused, "this train is now out of service". And the people were like: "ooook... now what". Everyone was stupefied. And then, the driver said: "You can go to track two, the next train that arrives will take you to Bayamón". And the people had a late-reaction, about 20 seconds passed before everyone got the messege of: get out of the fucking train and go to the other side of the platform to take the other one, bitches... (hyperboles, I can't help it).

And so, the exodus started.

(I wanted to use the word exodus because it's so biblical and cataclismic and so alarming sometimes... and I saw last night a documentary on the biblical plagues, so... And also it was the right word to use after all, so the purpose of this paragraph is nule, but I'll still leave it because I used biblical and cataclismic inside a parenthesis which is always awesome). (now back to the story).

And so, the exodus began.

The train was so full. And now we had to take another train that would certainly be full too. And Torrimar station is the kind of sation where you have to go up the stairs, across the mezzanine and down again on the other side, unlike other sations where the platform is between tracks. The stairs were crowded with people, something I never thought I would see (or at least not yet). But oddly enough no one was angry or taken aback by the whole thing.

It happens that someone in the first car of the train had some medical issue and the train had to be stopped (or that's my conclusion, for I saw some medics there, and also thought, "wooo, medics, this train is really really versatile and reliable". So the public went up, and then down the other side, and the new train arrived on the track that normally runs to the opposite way. My brain started to tick again, "we will crash with an oncoming train... oh my gosh, and the worst part is that the people are cramming themselves in the first car, instead of going all the way to the back", which I did, I didn't want to die in a car full of people, I would take my chances again on the last car.

I survived. The train changed to its rightful track shortly after and everyone got to their destinations safe and sound. But it was a nice story to tell and I had to tell it, 'cause I love the train.

ps. but i'm still surprised about the whole orderly manner in which everything occured; today I'm proud.
ps2 (playstation2), bytheway, tomorrow is this blog's Birthday! woohoo!

Quote of the Month (Hilarious)

Lately I have been willingly forced (whatever that means) to watch three TV shows of the USA Network. Me he quedao pegao a los tres programas. And these shows are (in order of appearance): The 4400, The Dead Zone, and House. The 4400 is about these people who were taken (as in alien kidnappings) by people from the future, and then the people from the future returned them to the present. 4400 people were taken, and returned, hence the name of the show. Now, the 4400 have powers, and they have to protect mankind from themselves, to save the future. The Dead Zone, is about a guy who was in a coma for 5 years, and now he can see the future and the past, and goes around with a cop friend (who's also the husband of the girl who was his fiancé) solving mysteries and saving people from dying. Then, House is about a very unothodox doctor, called House, who has a very peculiar way of treating his patients. He is blunt, angry, bitter, but also very honest, and the best... And from him comes today's "quote of the month".

Before I give you the quote, some back-story: House, and his team of doctors are discussing the very uncommon symptoms of this woman-patient to the head doctor of the hospital, trying to get liver transplant for her, and House says, in a witty and non-funny way, along with more doctor talk:

"she can't live without a liver, hence the name"

Get it?
I couldn't stop laughing. I even lost track of some of the episode.

"She can't live without a liver, hence the name!"
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhahahahahahahahaha

Joel's Thoughts on blogs, stories/diaries and "randomness"

This post is mostly in Spanish, really sorry to all of you hispanically-impaired.

Today is August the 19th of 2006, this day last year was a sad/happy day. I left Orlando after a long time over there, and came back to Puerto Rico. And I thought it would be proper to commemorate this day with a very very nice memory that I wrote. The following text I wrote it in April of 2005, and I wrote it for a mailing list I am part of (aka Yahoo Group), and I wrote it because I had recently discovered what blogs were. And, I thought, I've always done that, it's just that I sent the "post" to all of my friend's emails. And hence the title of this entire blog: Joel's Thoughts on Stuff. So here is the reason, the origins, the roots of this place, and of course, the pleasant memories of a day in a fantasy world (that I made real, by the way). Es uno de esos viajes... [brackets added for clarification].



Hola chicos y chicas.

Es increíble la cantidad de información internética que existe en los susodichos blogs cibernéticos.

Me sorprende como es que la gente deja caer todos sus pensamientos en diarios cibernéticos que todo el mundo puede leer a la hora que les de la gana. La verdad es que no entiendo, como es que las generaciones han cambiado... desde la seguridad y privacidad de punky brewster, de diarios escritos que nunca podrían ser leídos por nadie, privados y únicos, embarrasing; hasta ahora la generacion de Katie (esa de los diarios [de los anuncios] de MTV, se llama Katie?), quien depura sus pensamientos para el placer de aquellos que interesen escucharlos. ¿Cuándo es que perdimos el pudor? ¿Cuándo perdimos la vergüenza? ¿Cuándo? Díganme?

Antes nadie se andaba diciendo por ahí que si anoche la chingué por el culo y estuvo tan rico. O, cuando se lo mame va a virar los ojos. O, esa puta me va mojar to cuando se lo meta. Etc etc. Nadie andaba corriendo por ahí diciendo esas cosas, [sino que] andaban escribiéndolas en sus diarios, soñando o simplemente contando aquello tan privado que hicieron ese día. Pero los blogs no tan sólo se prestan para relatar las aventuras sexuales de uno. También hay otras cosas personales como: ayer me tiré tres peos calientes, me senté en un clavo ensebao y di tres vueltas y corrí con el culo al aire por la zona bancaria a medio día desde el baño del dunkin donuts hasta el de sizzler. O algo como: tengo unas diarres tan puñeteras que me lo tiene ardiendo. O: esta gonorrea me tiene mal, dios mio, cuándo me la vas a quitar. O, cosas tan simples como: ayer me corté las uñas de los pies con los dientes, y lo volvería hacer. U, otro ejemplo: antes yo nunca hubiese aceptado que me gustaba la música de britney spears, ahora ya ni me importa aceptarlo, aunque ahora su música ha pasado por unas metamorfosis extremas que caen en el hiphop, como otras cantantes que son sopranos y se meten al hiphop *coughs* mariah *coughs* carey *coughs*.

Me sorprende la cantidad de franqueza con la que estas personas escriben tan públicamente sus pesares y aventuras. Me sorprende de verdad. Pero lo que más me sorprende es que ellos se creen que a la gente les importa. Pero entonces, me sorprende mucho más aún que a esas otras gentes SÍ les importa. Como a mi. No es excitante leerlos? Es como hoy

Hoy fuimos al Magic Kingdom. Joel, Alfonso, Jakie y yo. Jackie es la novia de Joel, o la casi-novia (para obtener más informacion sobre ellos por favors marque el 3, porque es tan larga su historia que si la cuento ahora me descarrilaría de mi fluir de conciencia el cual está siendo interrumpido en este momento por esta interrupción, la cual me recuerda que este post es una copia interrumpida de otro post que nunca vio la luz de la publicacion.....) anyway. Pues fuimos y yo he gastado taaaantos chavos hoy. Dios mio. De 4 veintes que tenía y un diez, ahora solamente me queda un peso y una chavería. Les cuento.

Pues como estabamos libre hoy, pues decidimos ir a Magic Kingdom. Primero fuimos al property control, que es donde está toda aquella mercancía que ya está pasada de moda, o que ya no se puede vender porque, por ejemplo, dice dosmilcuatro en vez de dosmilcinco, o cosas que están semirotas, o cuyo empaque está muy maltratado, o simplemente lo que no se vendió por buen tiempo. Pues allí gasté 6 en un peluche de Stitch, y 15 en un sombrero para mi papá, un pin y un magneto. Así que ya van 21. Pues entramos a magic kingdom y lo primero que dice Joel es: "i'm hungry, are you guys hungry?" y nosotros: "no, we had cereal at home, dude", and he goes: "why would you do that?" y nosotros, "we were hungry, dude". Pues Jackie recomienda que comamamos papitas de macdonalds en el único cabrón carro de macdonalds que hay en Magic Kingdom, que está en un rincón bien al final al otro lado del parque desde dnde estábamos. Pues fuimos, y había esta única condená fila y el sol del medio día ahí dándonos [achicharrándonos desde] arriba. Por suerte ellos trajeron sunblock, ese que es como travel (como los juegos de mesa travel, pues así, era como un lipstick bien gordo). Anyway, pues en las papas me gasté 3 pesos casi. Seguimos caminando y había oooootra fila bien larga para Splash Mountain (si no sabe lo que es splash mountain presione el 2 para una descripción detallada, ahora). Pues, por consiguiente cogimos un Fastpass pa volver más tarde. (si no sabe lo que es un fastpass presione el 1 ahora para obtener más información de cómo funciona). Pues seguimos caminando hasta montarnos en el jungle cruise que es un boat ride en esta agua que parece mas mierda que agua, porque era, sin mentir del color de la mierda (aunque la mierda es relativa, a veces es brown, otras es negra, otras es verde, otras es ocre, y otras es terracota, ahora... si es roja, estas jodío porque estás sangrando; y a veces tiene cantos de maíz...) pero bueno. La cuestión es que nos montamos en el Jungle Cruise y el tipo que estaba conduciendo, o el guía, era tan gracioso, porque era uno de estos tipos que dice los chistes de una forma desganada y bien seria, y yo me estuve riendo casi todo el ride. Estuvo mucho mejor que la primera vez que me monté, lo cual fue la pendejada más grande, porque los animales son animatronics que tu sabes que no te van a hacer nada.... pero entonces hay una parte en que hay unos hipopotamos "asesinos" en el area, y se supone que el tipo les dispare con una pistola que tiene. Pues no, él disparó al aire y dijo algo como: esos hipopotamos se asustaron tanto de mis habilidades con la pistola de señales que ahora no se salen del agua... algo así... y no hizo lo que se supone que decía el libreto.

Bueno, pues salimos de ahí y decidimos ir a comer mantecado en Main Street, (presione el 4 para saber la ubicación exacta de main street). Pues en el trayecto me compré una botella de agua $2, una cámara desechable con descuento $15, el mantecado $3, le presté $2 a Alfonso, así que eso es 22 y 21, 43. Luego fuimos a Tomorowland (presione el 5 para saber que es Tomorowland), nos montamos en el Blue line, el cual es como un tour the tomorowland, nos montamos en buzz lightyears star command (presione 6) y después en los Cohetes que están en [el] tercer piso. Son un poco aterradores, porque están tan alto, pero la vista es chévere. Después decidimos salir de magic kingdom e ir a disney quest (presione 7) en algún momento, no sin antes volver hasta splash mountain y usar el fastpass.

Y nos fuimos. Después de eso, no pasaron muchas cosas en DIsney quest, lo que sí tengo que recalcar es que pagamos 18 pesos para la entrada y estuvimos dos cabronas horas nada más, sin mencionar que me comí un Cheesecake, del Cheescake Factory (el cual está adentro de Disney Quest), que fue denominado como un trip to heaven, por una chica que recogimos antes de llegar allí; And i agree, aunque me costó 9 pesos con un refresco. así que ya vamos por 69. Después di veinte pesos pa una pizza que nos comimos a las once de la noche, ya son 89, y orita fui a comprar tres botellas de agua así que eso suma a 92. Solamente me queda un peso ahora. Que mucho uno gasta... dios.

CUando nos estabamos comiendo la pizza, Joel y Jacky se pusieron a hablar de cosas de su escuela de highschool, como por ejemplo con qué otra chica de la escuela Jacky tendría un threesome.... y se pusieron a hablar de nombres y de gente que no me interesaba, pero lo que sí me sorprendió es que ellos hablaban de la gente con el nombre y el apellido, como por ejemplo, hablaron de Cristina Torres... y yo: "i am surprised at how you refer to people from school by their names AND their last names", and he goes "there's a lot of people in vegas" and i go: "theres a lot of ppl in pr too". Es que yo no diria: Alexandra Trinidad is the most poliphaceted girl i know, or i wouldnt say Rosa Bravo reads tarot cards and studies anthropology at the same time, or Antony Gamunev writes this really erotic story/diary.... NOOOOOOO i would only use your first names, it seems to me more personal, i guess.... but english is impersonal anyway, so, what the hell.

Pues aquí estoy ahora.

Pues sí. Me sorprende cuan interesante son los blogs y me sorprende la cantidad de ellos que hay por ahi... y me sorprende todos los que hay.

Ahora tengo que salir a tirarme un peo y cagar y salir pa la sala a ver el episodio de Family guy, en que Pete está en la fábrica de Willy Wonka (presione 8 para más info).

Ah, se me olvidava decir algo, que mi roommate Danny (el que duerme en mi cuarto) me dijo que dijera, para añadirle al "randomness" de este post: me dijo que dijera que hablara del roommate que duerme con el radio y la luz prendía, que nada lo podría levantar de su sueño, que ni siquiera yo typeando lo molestaría. Pero la verdad es que sí, porque mi cama como que relincha cada vez que uno se sienta en ella y él tosses and turns en la cama de él, he doesnt wake up, but he is bothered. Just thought that you should know.

Ok, then, im leaving this blog, now, i will comment on randomness on my next blog, and about Anto's (you see, i dont even use his entire name!!! it is such a familiar thing to do for us [puertoricans/latinos]) and about Anto's story/diaries [about a girl doing things with her neigbor], which are sooo erotic and sooooo pedophilic.

Bueno, nos vemos.

firma
Postmodern Joel *Joel winks at Alex*




Y así comenzó todo. It is so raw. Hace tiempo que no escribo algo así... Tantos chistes internos, ese día lo recuerdo tan bien gracias a esto, que me trae una sonrisa nostálgica.

Fantasmic!! Disney World, Part III

Here are some pictures of the awesomest character show in Disney: Fantasmic! (Yes, the name of the show comes with one exclamation point). These pictures are kinda blurry, but still exciting.
Questions for Joel: 1. So, Fantasmic!, what is it about? 2. Why is it the awesomest? 3. Why is the name Fantasmic!?
Answers for Joel: 1. This show is about Mickey defending himself from a LOT of the villains from the movies. 2. Because ALL the best villains are on it, because the villains are really mean, because the special effects are great. 3. Because it is fantastic *Joel rolls eyes*, and because many phantoms appear, meaning the faces of evil...
Here is Mickey opening the show with his traditional tux.The Evil Queen from Snow White trying some poses... Recently, I was asked what is the name of this lady character, it turns out that she doesn't have a name, she is known in Snow White as the Evil Queen or as the Hag (la bruja que le dio la manzana a Blanca Nieves). Looming eyes. A big bad snake attaking Mickey! Dang. Who's that snake you ask? Jaffar. You need to catch up on some movies. Look at Mickey on this pic. He's got an Alladin outfit, but he doesn't look right... Oh, and, of course, he is oblivious of the hugeamongous dragon behind him. Guess who THAT is.... (three seconds to answer or the time that it takes you to read this parenthesis until... now) yep, that's Maleficent the bad queen.
But of course, somehow Mickey saves the day in black and white, keeping everyone safe in his boat.
And we couldn't miss the Sorcerer's Aprentice outfit, the best for last.

PS

ps. only five days left for this blog's birthday
ps2. while only 2 left for the commemoration of the tragic day that propelled the idea of this blog

Disney World, Second Home, part II

More Disney Pics.
Here is the new centerpiece of the MGM Studios... I guess the watertank wasn't as... flashy as this.
More signs, and this one leads to Adventureland (as you have read) in the Magic Kingdom. Not the best picture, its unfocused and its kinda bland, my camera had issues that day, lots of the pictures came out a little blurry.
Another sign, this one is in the country of Germany, at Epcot. Das Kaufhaus, it is a souvernir shop, I think... But I like it because the façade of the plaza is on the background.
Aaaand a detail of the decoration of Cinderella's Castle, this decoration wasn't there when I got to Disney, that February, it was gradually being placed in a matter of weeks. The picture in the medallion changes into the four castles of the four Disney theme parks, or wait, there are five now.... I don't remember if the five were shown there.

Hope u liked the pictures. I have a ton, and more are coming.

Antes de... (Sobre truenos, rayos y centellas)

Antes de continuar con mi "Disney ode", quiero recalcar las fuertes tormentas eléctricas que están ocurriendo en este país. Desde que empezó el verano unos truenos eternos nos han estado atacando las paredes y las ventanas y las puertas con las manijas flojas, las cuales vibran las cuatro (paredes, ventanas, puertas y manijas) como si el trueno fuese un movimiento de tierra (ergo, earthquake) (I'm so full of myself). Antes no sucedían tantas tormentas eléctricas así de fuertes y tan corriditas. Ni hablar de los relámpagos, que están salvajísimos. Me gusta la lluvia, me gustan los truenos, pero los relámpagos son un poquito demasiado para mi, especialmente ese sonido eléctrico, ese sonido como mantequilla desintegrándose en sartén súper caliente, no me gusta. Especialmente anoche, fui a buscar un vaso de agua, como a las tres AM, y escucho el ruido eléctrico ese (como de ropa rajándose) y veo solamente un destello puntiagudo al lado mío. Cabe notar que la cocina de mi casa está detrás del comedor, el cual tiene un ventanal de cristal hacia la calle... y no quise pensar que aquella punta puntiaguda de ángulo agudo y luminicente era un rayo que me hubiese partido por el mismo medio. Regresé a mi camita, esperando el grandioso trueno de aquel rayo que tumbaría los cuadros de las paredes, pero nunca llegó, después me dormí y desperté hoy al ritmo retumbante de más truenos. Qué frutal.

ps. solo faltan siete días pal cumpleaños de este blog.
ps2. mientras que faltan cuatro para la celebración del día fatídico el cuál promovió la idea de este blog.

La Música y sus poderes recordativos

Music and its rememberative powers

(recordativos=rememberative; I'm so good;
translated nonsense=disparates traducidos)
(english version HERE)

Hoy estaba escuchando música de la que he bajado a la computadora, y escuchando mis cd's que hace tiempo no lo hacía, y me ha sucedido algo tan... no puedo decir "tan increíble" porque sí lo creo, tengo que decir: "tan grato". Porque así es. Cuando uno se pone a escuchar música de años anteriores, imágenes sin ninguna relación, excepto de que son del pasado, se presentan en la mente como si hubiesen pasado ayer. Como si fuesen fotografías que se mueven. Uno puede ver si el día estaba nublado o brillante, si hacía calor o no, uno puede ver la gente al rededor, como también puede ser el recuerdo de un momento en el que solamente te puedes ver tu, a pesar de que recuerdas un montón de gente al rededor. Es como surreal eso. Uno recuerda tan vívidamente el momento... Por ejemplo, el otro día escuché en el radio:

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls, la canción de la película City of Angels, ¿Cuándo salió esa película? ¿1998? Y me recordó la escuela, estar en el pasillo de la escuela tirado al medio día escuchando el cd player de alguien, porque yo no tenía. También me acordó cantarla a coro en el carro de un amigo (Randy) cuando íbamos pa algún lao. "And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'll understand, when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am. También me acuerdo de cuando me enseñaron el CD de los Goo Goo Dolls (Dizzy up the girl), que para aquel momento eran lo nuevo... El CD me lo enseñaron en el salón de historia de cuarto año, y era febrero, porque se lo regalaron a una amiga mía (Yaysa) en el amigo secreto... qué cosas, no me acuerdo ni qué me regalaron a mi...

Esta otra canción la tengo en my Media Player
Hole in my Soul - Aerosmith, ¿de cuándo es esta? Uf, tiene que ser de antes como del 97. De esta me acuerdo que el video de lo pasaban a cada rato por el fenecido canal The Box, (creo que era The Box, si no, era uno de videos en cable). Lo tenían tan quemao tan quemao y tan quemao que daban un video y después salía Aerosmith, daban un video y después venía Aerosmith otra ves. There's a hole in my soul that's been killing me forever, its a place.... También me acuerdo haber visto el video en casa de una amiga (Carmen), que estábamos en su casa uno chorro de otros y yo porque acabábamos de terminar un trabajo de arte, embuste, era un trabajo de arte pero para la clase de ciencia.

Ay, me acordé qué me regalaron a mi en el amigo secreto de aquel Febrero de Goo Goo Dolls, mi amiga (Keila) me había regalado el CD de Enrique Iglesias, mi primer CD pa mi CD player, Wow. Dark ages, ni que Enrique Iglesias, ¿en qué yo estaba pensando? Eah, la canción de él "Esperanza" la daban en una novela que veía... uy, de tan solo pensar en novelas ahora me da escalofríos...

Otra canción:
El puente de San Blás - Maná, eah, esta sí es del 99. Me acuerdo porque el CD era mío (del 98 al 99 mis cds parieron como hamsters) y yo había puesto el CD en el salón de cerámica de la escuela pa hacer las esculturas con sosiego... Solaaa, sola en el olvido, solaaa, sola con su espíritu solaaaa, sola con su amor el mar, solaaaa en el muelle de san Blas. La maestra había dicho que era un buen CD.

Otra:
What's my age again - Blink 182, ¿2000?, lo que me acuerdo de esta es que la primera vez que estuve viviendo en Orlando los roommates y yo (out of boredom) nos poníamos a tocar instrumentos invisibles como los nenes chiquitos. What the hell is ADD, my friend's say I should act my age, what's my age again, what's my age again... Luke y Travis eran la guitarra y el bajo y yo la batería.

Otra:
Las Flores - Café Tacuba, ni siquiera voy a poner fecha a esta, porque la fecha del CD no concuerda con mi recuerdo, y mi recuerdo es como del 2002, era enero en la ya famosa fiesta de reyes de Yomara y pusieron esa canción y, por supuesto, todo el mundo se la sabe y todos la cantaron. Todo el mundo estaba sentado, en el piso, en los muebles, el árbol de navidad en una esquina con lucecitas doradas... Aayyyyy Ven y dime todas esas cosas invitame a sentarme junto a ti, escucharé todos tus sueños en mi oido.....

Otra:
Time of your life - Green Day, esta canción es vieja, pero el maldito del otro Joel la puso en el último día de la segunda vez que viví en Orlando, grabándola completamente en mi cerebro. Estaba de noche, ovbiamente, y todos estábamos empacando y yo tenía un CD de Celine Dion, y él lo quitó y dijo: "we have to put going-away music". Its something unpredictable, but in the end is right, I hope you had the time of your life... Recuerdo que Matt (mi otro roommate) dijo algo como: "oh, that's wrong".

Otra:
Cualquier canción country de las Hardcore-country, de las bien tierra adentro (gracias a Dios eso no se escucha aquí) me recuerda a Nick, (el otro roommate de Disney), y la vez que fuimos a comprar double cheeseburgers a peso en Mcdonald's. Él pone la estación country, y yo le digo, "you like that music", y él dice que sí, y yo: "but it's so... country", y él, "well, I'm from the country". Y después nos dieron los hamburgers por la ventanilla.

La última:
The Carol of the Bells, no sé quiénes tocan esta canción de Navidad, pero sí me acuerda la película Home Alone 2, donde el nene está solo en Nueva York... Y me acuerda que yo le conté la película ENTERA detalle por detalle, desde el "Plan Ho ho ho", hasta las palomas al final, se lo conté a mi amigo (Edgar) en la escuela elemental!!! Mi escuela elemental, diaaatre. ¿1992?

Y ya tengo que parar porque si sigo nunca acabo. Canciones específicas (hasta reggeatón, sí) me recuerdan gente específica. (Cualquier cosa de Shakira me recuerda a Alexandra, por ejemplo). Canciones que he olvidado, cuando las escuche de nuevo estoy seguro que me darán bofetadas de recuerdos, de sitios a los que jamás he vuelto a poner un pie, de momentos que jamás volverán a ocurrir. Es triste, pero también es grato... el saber que había y hay gente para compartirlas.

Music and its rememberative powers (translation)

(this is the translation of THIS post).
Music and its rememberative powers


(recordativos=rememberative; I'm so good;
translated nonsense=disparates traducidos)

Today I listening to some music that I have downloaded, and also some cd's that I hadn't heard in quite a long time, and something happened to me, something so... I cannot say "so incredible" because I do believe it, so I must say: "so pleasant". Yes, that's it. When you listen to passed-years music, unrelated images (except that they're all from the past) flash up to you as if they happened yesterday. As if they were moving pictures. You can see if that day was cloudy or sunny, or if it was hot or could, one can see the people around at that moment, or it can also be a memory of a moment in which you can only see yourself, even though you remember lots of people around you. Kinda surreal. You remember moments so vividly... As an example, the other day I hear on the radio:

Iris - Goo Goo Dolls, one of the City of Angels movie theme songs, when was this movie out? 1998? And it reminded me of school, high school, laying on the hallways at lunchtime with a bunch of people listening to that CD on someone else Cd player, because I didn't have one. It also reminded me of a day when we sang it together in my friend's (Randy) car. "And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think that they'll understand, when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am." I also remember when I saw the Goo Goo Dolls CD (Dizzy up the girl), which in those days it was the newest thing... The Cd was shown to me in the history classroom, and it was February, I know because of the CD was given to my friend (Yaysa) as a secret-friend gift (like secret santa), and she showed it to me. Gosh, I don't even remember what was given to me...

This other song I have it in my Media Player
Hole in my Soul - Aerosmith, when was this song out? Must be from 97 or before. This song reminds me of its music-video, which played every so often on the forgotten channel The Box (RIP). The video grew tiresome after a while. Madonna first, then Aerosmith, lets say Goo Goo Dolls, and then Aerosmith again... no wonder... There's a hole in my soul that's been killing me forever, its a place.... I also remember having seen this music video at my friend's (Carmen) house, we were there because we were finishing an art project, wait, it was art but it was for science class.

Ay! I just remembered what I was given in the secret-friend that Goo Goo Dolls' February, mi friend (Keila) gave me Enrique Iglesias' first CD, which was also MY first, for my first cd player. Wow. Enrique Iglesias, what was I thinking? Dark ages.

Another song:
El puente de San Blás - Maná, gosh, this one's from 1999. I remember that because it was my cd (from 98 to 99 mi cd's spawned as if they were hamsters). I had played the CD at the ceramics classroom so that we could work peacefully... Solaaa, sola en el olvido, solaaa, sola con su espíritu solaaaa, sola con su amor el mar, solaaaa en el muelle de san Blas... My teacher said that it was a good CD, I believed her.

Another song:
What's my age again - Blink 182, 2000?, what I remember with this song is that the first time that I lived in Orlando, the roommates and I (out of boredom) would play imaginary instruments to this song, as if we were little kids. What the hell is ADD, my friend's say I should act my age, what's my age again, what's my age again.... Luke and Travis were the guitar and bass, I was the drums.

Another Song:
Las Flores - Café Tacuba, I'm not even going to write the date on this, because the date is superfluous to my memory. My memory is from 2002, it was January at the now famous Magi King Party at Yomara's house, and the song was played, and of course, everybody knows the lyrics to this classic, and everyone sang. All were seated on the floor or on the couches... the Christmas Tree still up in a corner with golden lights... Aaayyyyy ven y dime todas esas cosas, invítame a sentarme junto a ti, escucharé todos tus sueños en mi oido....

Another:
Time of your life - Green Day, this is a relatively old song, but the F______ of the other Joel played it the last day in which we lived in Orlando (this was the second time I lived there), and so the song got embossed in my brain, along with the moment: It was dark, obviously, and we were all packing; I had a CD of Celine Dion playing, and Joel said: "lets play some going-away music", and he changed it. Its something unpredictable, but in the end is right, i hope you had the time of your live... I remember Matt (my other roommate) saying something like: "Oh, that's wrong".

Another:
Anything country, but hardcore-country (thank God that doesn't play here) reminds me of Nick (the other Disney roommate), and reminds me of the time we went to buy one-dollar double cheeseburgers at Mcdonald's. He changes the radio station to country music, and I say: "you like that?", he says yes, and I go: "but it so... country", and he goes: "well, I'm from the country". And then, they gave us the burgers.

And last one:
The Carol of the Bells, I don't know who played this Christmas song first, but it always reminds me of the movie Home Alone 2, the one were the kid is alone in New York... And it reminds me that I narrated the whole thing, the WHOLE thing in detail (from the Ho ho ho Plan, to the birds at the end) to my friend (Edgar) in elementary school. Elementary School!!! Dang. 1992?

Ok, I must stop, because I'll never end. Specific songs (even reggeaton, yes) remind me of specific people (anything Shakira reminds me of Alexandra, for example). Songs that I have forgotten, when I hear them again they will slap me with memories, and with the places that I haven't been at anymore, and with the moments that will never happen again... It is sad, but it is also pleasant... to know that there was and there is people to share them with.

Disney World, Second Home

It was around this date last year that I was starting to say goodbye to fantasy (or reality?) And I yearn it back.
Here's the Magic Kingdom in all glory, behind a heap of people, against a whoosh of white cluods under bright blue skies.
I have a thing for signs, and so this one is of the (read the sign) which is the garden under the hugeamongous shade of the tree in Animal Kingdom, of course. It's easy to get lost in this garden. So grab children by the hand, and keep your arms and legs inside (your pockets?) at all times...
The Tangerine Café at Epcot, interesting Morrocan "fast" food, it was oddly good, contrary to what many may say. I ate there on the first month I was in Orlando, it was february and it was cold and rainy. The Tangerine Café was the first place to shelter from freezing water pouring from the sky, and so we were in Epcot to eat something exotic (probably japanese), but we only got to Morroco, and we had humus, lamb topped with a sweet and sour white sauce, sweet rice (it had raisins) and a very spicy hot picadillo, like mexican chunky salsa, but it was green, and sesame bread, all for the VERY modest (note the sarcasm) price of 10 dollars+tax+drink (no employee discount on fast food, dang it!).
And Epcot. Home. Epcot became home very early when I arrived. I worked there, so that was most of the "why". But it also has the best food, and the best places to take pictures. It is not as exciting as Animal Kingdom (or any of the other parks) but it has the best fireworks and the best location. Anyway, I liked it.

An Afternoon at the Supermarket (or Sam's)

Hello all. Still fighting with the stupid myspace. But, for now, something "diary-like", just for the sake of keeping a "true" blog. A true story.

The other day, I woke up very early (if early means 10 AM or 11, "very early" therefore means 8:00 AM). Very early indeed. I had to go to an interview in the freaking ass of this country, well, not really the ass, just somewhere far. The "interview" (I'll explain the quotations momentarily) was for a job as an editor. The interview really wasn't an interview, it was more of a test, they made me do an essay from the top of my head on a random topic, altho it wasn't really random, everyone had to write about it. So, I've never been into the ass of this country, so, even tho I woke up early, I still was late finding the (insert your curse word here) place. And there weren't any computers there to do the essay, because I was 20 minutes late. But, if there were no computers available at 10:20, and I was supposed to use it for hour and a half at least, so that computer would have been scheduled for someone for hour and a half, why was there someone else on it? I didn't understand. (hopefully u understood that last rhetorical question, if not, buy a map). And so, I waited, being the passive-aggressive, obsssessssive-compulsive that I am, being the patient human that I am, again, I waited. And waited. And waited. I got my revenge tho, everybody left, and I started my essay and the person in charge had to wait thru lunch time for me to finish. Don't get me wrong, I try to be nice to everyone, and I didn't want to just do that to that person, I just couldn't leave, and come back, I had to wait, because I had a schedule, and schedules are not to be broken when you freaking wake up VERY early at eight in the morning. And so, I finished the essay at ONE o'clock, and I hurried not because I was fond of the girl there, but because I was very hungry and I had to pee. Hopefully the essay/"interview" is good enough.

So then I had lunch at the worst Church's Chicken. Didn't finish my Pechusandwich (chicken sandwich for the hispanically-impaired), didn't finish my coleslaw, nor my sprite, the only good thing was the mashed potatoes, except for the nasty gravy.

After that I went back home. Following a random conversation with my father:
-I have a friend whose last name is spelled G-e-l-l. (All of this in Spanish, of course) How do you pronounce that in English?
-Like "gel". (as hair gel)
-But he says it is like "hell".
-Well, because G in Spanish sounds like H in English.
-But then, he should call himself "gel".
-No, because his name Gell is in Spanish, not English.

After that I almost fell asleep when he pressured me, with the help of my mother to go to the supermarket, meaning SAM's. Why? Why, of course, to push the extremely broken shopping carts. Out of the eight hundred and twenty six thousand two hundred and fifteen carts we had to get ONE that steered to the left on its own. Anyway, so, first, come the usual "come fill this form and get your sam's club credit card and we will give you this awesome thermos" shit. I distinctively and dissmisively and almost disgustedly shook my head in negation (redundacy right there). The lady finally said: "it's free". I walked away, not looking back: "keep your free shit, you're not getting me, not now, nor never". But when I looked back, she had my mother on her paws. *Joel rolls eyes and stares at the flat tv screens*. Yeap, they were playing The Shaggy Dog, seemed like a neat, but unmemorable movie.

So we head towards the detergents. And suddenly I hear coos. But not baby coos. No. Bird coos. There were turtledoves (tórtolas) on the roof of the huge warehouse. On the INSIDE. And I thought, "hmm, interesting, I wonder how they feed". And my imagination ran wild picturing the employees hunting the birds with the rifles from the gun aisle (altho there is no gun aisle, but still). I also knew that it was just a matter of time when the worst would happen.

We were supposed to get emergency stuff, totally needed things. We ended up with 2 full shopping carts (the second one, even more screwed up than the first, I even compared it to a rodeo bull.... yeah, it was that bad). So, I have to stop and say that I deterred from my duties as cart pusher in two moments of the early evening, the first when we went thru the spices aisle. There's just something about spices in cups that draws my attention. To think that there is so much flavor to savor inside them. And to see the translations of the spices: Cumin=Comino, Basil Leaves=Albahaca, Bay Leaves=hojas de Laurel, Anís=Aniseed, now I know what Emeril is talking about on his cooking show. I also wonder what they (americans) have for Adobo, if there is such a thing outside Puerto Rico (I didn't find it in Orlando, surely you can, tho). Adobo is like a seasoning, or essence for meats, poultry, and fish (and whatever else for that matter) just so we're clear. And then, that's when it happened. Plap! I heard it. Clear. Like spit from a very high window on the sidewalk. One of the birds shat. Thankfully it fell 2 feet away from me, so I was lucky. I knew then that I had to keep moving, not to keep myself in the same position for too long... The second time I deterreded from my duties, was when I went to the electronics area (again), which is also next to the book area. Why are there so many religious books and self-help in SAM'S??? Why? So many bibles, it seemed illegal, even blasphemous... Anyway, I found the latest Stephen King book (CELL) at a cheaper price than when I got it at Borders... damn it, and the hardcover Harry Potter, also cheaper than when I bought it at the Orlando International Airport. Sniff. I want to go back to Orlando..... Ok, I digressed a little there. Although the digression was founded in the fact that this story is almost over, because after that nothing eventful happened, except that ONE lobster tail was 27 dollars! (the pound was 26, and this one was like, what?, a pound and a gram?) I don't even have to say that we didn't dine fine that night. And, yeah, we bought no sugar added bite-sized candies (cakes, brownies, cookies), which are not that bad, I have to admit. And that's it. OOh, wait! I saw a poster of the Laguna beach cast where the clothes were. They have their own brand now? WTF.

So that was my day, the other day. Oh, no, wait! After that, I got this mega-ultra-super-hyper-head-ache that had me squirming in my bed and speaking in tongues (probably French). (blasphemous! I say, blasphemous!) Ok, I need to go.

Hell+Earth=Myspace.com

Yes. I am soooo eff-ing angry right now. I tried to open a Myspace page/account and it is so fucking ridiculous all the shit that you have to go thru just to post a motherfucking post in the blog. ARGH. Gosh! Also, I edited the stupid profile area and when I click "save" it saves, BUT when I came back to the original page (which took me eight thousand hours to find in the first place) the edits were not there. A lost hour there. Thankfully tho, I found some people, but I still have to learn how to add them. I HATE MYSPACE. OH MY GOD! I HATE IT. Hopefully in time I will come to cherish it for what it is, and not for what it looks like (or the prehistorically archaic ways in which it operates). Ok. I'll vent. Breath. Ok. Now, type the address on the search bar, hit "enter". If things go well, no more posts... but if I get frustrated Hell will fall (or burst) into Earth.

And more new species!

Remember THIS?

Ok. Now Click ---->HERE<---- and tell me PLEASE what the FUCK, what in the HELL, qué CARAJO this thing is! I MUST know. Is it real? And, turn the volume up, listen to the lady at the end...

Oh my GOSH! it's out of this planet! It's so interesting, and appalling at the same time.

aaaaaaaaaaaahhhh

And, here's a picture for those of u who don't like (or can't see) video.

Discombobulated

Are you discombobulated?

-Host: Aaand question #3, to Miss Discombobulated, here goes, if you were to win the crown tonight, what would be the first thing you would do as queen, as empress of the universe?
-Miss Discobobulated: I would do my best to bring peace to the world. *giggles and smiles*

*and the crowd goes wild*

[Drumroll]
-Host: And the winner for the most syllables in a word in the English language goes to Miss Discombobulated
*she gasps, smiles, then cries*

*and the crowd goes wild*


seriously now, from the incestuous marriage of Mr. Confused and Miss Disconcerted, a child was misscarried, and they named her Discombobulated. The poor child barely passed elementary school, for she couldn't write the 15 letters of her name. Then middle and high school was a pain, for she was constantly teased for her unusual name, they called her Ovulated and Bobblegirl, she'd cry and cry. But, as she was a freshman at the university she went into the English language pageant and won for her uniqueness against other long words like: sternocleidomastoid, antidisestablishmentarianism, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia, "electroencefalografista" (from Spanish), aaaand "murciélago" (not being the longest word in Spanish, but one with all 5 vowels in less than 5 syllables). And so, Miss Discombobulated wins for being a weirdo.

*and the crowd goes wild*


Still discombobulated?

La tormenta que no llegó

The storm that never came.

La gente me mira de lado cada vez que digo que me encantan los huracanes. Rápido me dicen que si soy egoista, que si no pienso en la demás gente, que cómo es posible que te gusten si lo que traen es destrucción. Pues, la verdad es que me encantan, y no lo puedo evitar. Toda ese viento, toda esa lluvia, toda la destrucción... es como si la superficie terrestre estuviese mudando la piel, como las culebras, como si se estuviera quitando de encima un bicho raro. Pero también me encanta la expectativa de la tormenta, verla llegar, lo cual es bueno porque así todo el mundo está avisado, y nadie tiene excusas de que: "ay, yo no sabía na", embustero, paquetero, malandro, animal, claro que sabías (a menos que claro, vivas en algún lugar donde no hay ni radio ni televisión, ahí sí te perdono que te mueras en la tormenta) (eah, qué quote tan salvaje y cruel, Joel) (mala mía) (así soy). Pues, estaba esperando que la tormenta Chris nos pasara por encima, pa que enyoyemos un poco y nos despertemos y nos desagamos de la mierda. Que si los taxes, que si las drogas... Pero, bueno, esas son peticiones pendejas, pues los taxes es algo intangible que no sufre ni nada, y las drogas pues pueden estar seguros que estarán más seguras que ustedes y yo. Pero más que nada, quería que nos pasara por encima pa que el aire se limpie, y también por ese rush y excitación que trae estar escondido de una fuerza más poderosa que nada en el mundo (bueno, quizás no más poderosa que una bomba atómica, pero ahí vamos), saber que uno es solamente una parte pequeña y presindible de una máquina más grande y que por esa razón entender que tenemos que vivir plenamente.

booooring (así decía una muchacha en la escuela)

que venga el chorro, que se vaya Chris pa la porra con sus vientos de 40 millas por hora, que venga un huracán con nombre de mujer con odio y nos raje a 100 millas... a ver qué pasa.

Blind! / ¡Ciego!

Wooooohooooo!

Woohoo woohoo woohoo woohoo

Yes. Internet is back. Although my computer is half-Ok; but it works. (Still). Hopefully the computer wont completely die until I can get a new video card. (My brother made an operation, he performed a video card transplant from an old computer, until a good/new organ (I mean V-card) is purchased (or one comes from the morgue).

(note, for those of you who didn't know, I haven't had internet, nor PC for some time, now u know, but I guess that's apparent by the previous paragraph).

Internet is back. And I feel like writing a small/bad pornografic(al) story, just because.


When the balls decided to fuck too

So the guy is on the bed. The girl is on top of him. The linens have become unfastened from the edges of the matress. They are both rough. She mashes his face with such lust, as if it were modelling clay; she puts her juiced up fingers in his mouth to lick. He has her butt on his hands, and he stomps her on his dick; smacking sweaty skin. The bed hinges cringe. They gasp. They moan soundlessly.

She wants to be on the bottom, now, she tells him in an accelerated, excilirated, oxygenated, and breathless(ted) whisper. He doesn't think it twice, and pushes his body upright, cradling her tight abdomen against his, this task was done fairly easy for him, for the girl is very delicate (although, in his mind he was surprised about how different she was now).

So the girl is on the bed. The guy is on top of her. There is an overstuffed pillow supporting her, almost swallowing her. She thrusts her navel upright, she wants his whole thing inside her hot pussy. He sucks on her tits, the whole of one fits in his mouth, and he pinches the other with his fingers. She tugs at him to pound her harder.

And that's when the balls went nuts (no pun intended) (or maybe a little).

For a closer look of what is going on, we have to zoom the camera to the place where penetration is taking place. Zooming in... hairs are visible, sweat is almost palpable, movement is almost abstract when it is this close. Now, we have to go slo-mo (slow motion). His fat dick pushes inside her wet cunt. The heat is so close. The orgasm is so far. The motion is so awesome. Their skins rubbing each other, we can almost feel. But then, his left ball (the one that hangs lower) takes an innitiative no balls had ever taken, the ball also wanted to fuck. It wanted to go inside that mushy little slit of hers. And so it did. The guy took this as an error (he thought of baseball for some reason), he stopped, not letting his lips, and his tonge out of her mouth. With his hand he swatted his balls back. But then, it happened again: The ball waited for its moment, and when the penis went in, the ball stepped in the way, and in it also went.

The pain.

He flinched. He held his breath. She felt something bigger inside her. She liked. He stopped rocking his ass. He knelt away from her. And as he pulled his rigid penis, he felt his ball pop (or plop) out of her vagina. He lays over the girl gently, without saying anything, enduring, and masking that piercing bolt inside him. He kisses her while the pain inside his abdomen (and brain) soothes. And then, his dick, concrete hard, he fucks her madly, but in the back of his mind he's afraid that his balls (or the left one, the one that hangs lower) tries to get some of the action and interrupts them once again.


The end.



aaawww, such romance, such detail... nah, it needed more...
More porn soon(ish).

(ps. any orthographic(al) errors (as in baseball) are due to the fact of the amount of excitement alluded in the title of this written text. They are not, by any means, to be taken and used against me. And, I don't really care.)
(ps2. I could go on and on and on with a testament of other topics, but I shall save some for later, because, remember, I have internet!)
Woohoohoo
Qué emoción