I have a friend that I haven't seen in a long time. He is the kind of person to whom you would get attached to very easily. I don't know how, and I don't know why; wait, that's not right, I do know how and why: because he has a charisma that not many people are capable of having (or probably it's just that I'm antisocial) and people just look for him as if he were some kind of ambrossia. And no, I didn't get attached to him easily, it was a long process of friendship since high school (and right now I'm doing a masters degree, so start counting). Yes, I envy/envied him. The thing is that, after a while those people wouldn't show up anymore, not in conversations, not in get-togethers... And I would always ask: "what happened to Fulano or Fulana", "oh, I don't know", he would say. They would fall into a kind of suspended oblivion... until they finally dissappear and are never brought up except in rare occasions of remembrance.
The thing is that we've fallen out of communication for some unexplainable reason. Or there IS an explanation, but hard to pinpoint, or hard to express: One of us started to not be aware of the other and so on and so forth until there was no other. It's a kind of lazyness or it's probably carelessness. Which leads to think that we never really... cared much... I would like to think that we've just forgotten about the other (I clearly haven't, but I'm also proud in terms of him, [I'm humble with a lot, if not the rest, of the people] but that's because I've "known" him for half of my life). It saddens me. I've talked here about the thin line between love and hate, also about the line between love and forgiveness, but I don't hate, I just resent the fact that I've also fallen in to the category of "the forgotten ones". The worst thing is that I've done the same thing with some of my friends too, and I am so ashamed now that I see it. So ashamed that I don't know how to go back. I guess I'll have to forgive that resentment now, get some courage and see what happens. Because, I need my friend.
The thing is that we've fallen out of communication for some unexplainable reason. Or there IS an explanation, but hard to pinpoint, or hard to express: One of us started to not be aware of the other and so on and so forth until there was no other. It's a kind of lazyness or it's probably carelessness. Which leads to think that we never really... cared much... I would like to think that we've just forgotten about the other (I clearly haven't, but I'm also proud in terms of him, [I'm humble with a lot, if not the rest, of the people] but that's because I've "known" him for half of my life). It saddens me. I've talked here about the thin line between love and hate, also about the line between love and forgiveness, but I don't hate, I just resent the fact that I've also fallen in to the category of "the forgotten ones". The worst thing is that I've done the same thing with some of my friends too, and I am so ashamed now that I see it. So ashamed that I don't know how to go back. I guess I'll have to forgive that resentment now, get some courage and see what happens. Because, I need my friend.
1 comment:
nunca había escuchado "fulana" o "fulano" en una oración redactada en inglés...
welcome to the club of "the forgotten ones"... i should invite some of my forgotten friends too... :o(
it may sound like a cliché, but it may all be part of growing up...
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